Day 5 God's guest list (cont)

 

In January 2015, I saw a small blurb in our church bulletin about a daily email reflection series called The Best Lent Ever, offered by Dynamic Catholic. Moved by what I can only describe as an “unknown force,” I signed up. I didn’t know then that Matthew Kelly and Dynamic Catholic would become not only the newest guest, but a permanent resource for my spiritual growth. Since that time, the daily reflections, books, speaking engagements, and programs like Holy Moments have become steady companions along my path. Though the video quality in those early days was far from polished, one episode in particular reached deep into my soul and wouldn’t let go. It wasn’t until years later that I discovered the priest behind that powerful message on forgiveness was Fr. Mike Schmitz.  Before I could even begin to climb out of the dark hole I found myself in, I had to first face the pain—acknowledge the wounds my family had inflicted upon me—and make the conscious decision not to let that pain hold me captive. As cliché as it may sound, it truly was a game changer.  There’s a quote I once heard—I'm not sure who said it first—but it struck a chord: “Choosing not to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” That truth settled into my heart and, over time, became part of my healing.  As the layers of my life continue to be peeled back, God has gently helped me not only to acknowledge those I’ve hurt and the ways I contributed to the brokenness in my family, but also to forgive myself.  I know I’m not the first to say this: forgiveness isn’t a one-time event. It’s not about pretending that what happened was okay—because it wasn’t. It’s about choosing to say “no” to the prison of anger, resentment, and self-recrimination, and saying “yes” to the healing, liberating balm of God’s mercy.

God dropped his 2nd bread crumb!

Day 4 More about my journey today

 

                                           Amazing Grace

Funny how something you’ve read or heard countless times can suddenly strike a chord—right when you need it most. Recently, we were singing Amazing Grace during Mass—not for the first time, of course! But this time, I allowed the words to break through my protective barrier.  My prideful self had never let the lyrics be about me. But this time, I invited the Lord to help me see: this was my story.  Getting to know yourself intimately—being brutally honest about who you were, and who you hope to become (but aren’t there yet)—is agonizing. Peering deeply inside, behind the smoke and mirrors, beneath the many layers, is not for the faint of heart. If you choose to embark on that journey, it’s vital to have someone walking alongside you.

Day 3 God’s guest list

I hope I am honoring Debbie Macomber by borrowing the theme of her book God’s Guest List, Welcoming Those Who Influence Our Lives, as the format I want to use in how becoming a new creation began for me.

We are now back to December 2014 and a guest who gets credit for planting the seed that reshaped how I viewed myself and those around me.  One of the principals in the accounting/consulting firm where I was employed gifted all of the employees (and there were a lot of us) with the book The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann.  As I read this book whose ‘fictional’ message was ostensibly how to have and maintain a successful business, I recognized an underlying and persuasive theme.  In an intriguing and delightful manner, a mentor teaches a young man the importance of relationships, how to create and maintain the best of the best. I was struck by how consistently the tale went into seeking the “good of the other;” although I didn’t have the words to express it that way until years later. I was peering into a realm of human connections that had NOT been part of my experience.  

God dropped his first bread crumb for me.

Day 2 What about my journey today

Recently I reflected on the similarity between the time spent rehabbing my “frozen” shoulder and time spent focused on my faith.  For my shoulder to be pain free, strong and have a better range of motion, I needed physical therapy with the right therapist, in depth evaluation, the right treatment and the right exercises/stretches. Then I had to consistently do them on a regular basis if I didn’t want my shoulder to freeze up again.

To grow my faith, it was essential I have the right teacher, an ongoing in-depth evaluation to know myself better, the very best instruction, the right exercises, and above all sticking with Him so I don’t wind up where I was before and never want to be again. Walking in the dust of my Rabbi is exactly how close I need to be!